2008 Woodie Awards
New family pet: leashed kids
Children do not belong on a dog's tether
Jesimin Berman
Issue date: 2/9/07 Section: Opinion
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We all see it, whether its when we're walking though an airport terminal or the mall. Children on leashes are becoming quite the epidemic. Who ever thought that this was a good idea? Sure, kids can be spunky, energetic, unruly, but is that any reason to bust out the leash?
Furthermore, just because the leash's harness is in the form of a backpack with teddy bears or trains does not subtract the fact that the child is still wearing a leash. That is a great way to coax your child into the leash. If I could hear the conversation that leads up to strapping a child into a leash, I would imagine it would go something like this: "Here toddler, here toddler. Who's a good boy? Yes you are, yes you are, let mommy and daddy just get the cutest little harness on you. Toddler want to go for a walk? Sure you do, that's a good boy!"
But I'm going to be fair and try to address why some parents might want to use a leash. Yes, children can be difficult to watch. They run around and they don't always listen to their parents, siblings, or baby sitters. Then again, they're children; they're not dogs or some other animal that you need to restrain with a leash so that they don't attack people.
Leashing your child is just going to produce serious psychological trauma by the time they are teenagers. No teen wants to look at family pictures and see photos of their parents walking them through the mall on a leash. Let us stick to the traditional issues that a plethora of TV shows have labeled as parental concerns, such as dealing with a cross-dressing child or a kid that later wants a sex change. Granted, if one day a teenager asked his or her parents for their support in changing species because really, the best times in their life occurred while they were on a leash, the networks and their writers would be indebted forever. Think about the 20/20 specials that child's request would spawn. I can just see Barbara Walters returning as an interviewer to get the scoop. Barbara, asking the questions that viewers at home are dying to know, such as "did your parents hug you enough" or "when did you know that your leash made you feel more secure than a blanket or a teddy bear?"
Furthermore, just because the leash's harness is in the form of a backpack with teddy bears or trains does not subtract the fact that the child is still wearing a leash. That is a great way to coax your child into the leash. If I could hear the conversation that leads up to strapping a child into a leash, I would imagine it would go something like this: "Here toddler, here toddler. Who's a good boy? Yes you are, yes you are, let mommy and daddy just get the cutest little harness on you. Toddler want to go for a walk? Sure you do, that's a good boy!"
But I'm going to be fair and try to address why some parents might want to use a leash. Yes, children can be difficult to watch. They run around and they don't always listen to their parents, siblings, or baby sitters. Then again, they're children; they're not dogs or some other animal that you need to restrain with a leash so that they don't attack people.
Leashing your child is just going to produce serious psychological trauma by the time they are teenagers. No teen wants to look at family pictures and see photos of their parents walking them through the mall on a leash. Let us stick to the traditional issues that a plethora of TV shows have labeled as parental concerns, such as dealing with a cross-dressing child or a kid that later wants a sex change. Granted, if one day a teenager asked his or her parents for their support in changing species because really, the best times in their life occurred while they were on a leash, the networks and their writers would be indebted forever. Think about the 20/20 specials that child's request would spawn. I can just see Barbara Walters returning as an interviewer to get the scoop. Barbara, asking the questions that viewers at home are dying to know, such as "did your parents hug you enough" or "when did you know that your leash made you feel more secure than a blanket or a teddy bear?"
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