2008 Woodie Awards
Troubles with extremism
Walid Zafar
Issue date: 2/9/07 Section: Opinion
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One of the highlights of my childhood was watching a girl on the Maury Povich Show who was petrified of clowns. I thought, "ok that is understandable" and as I was heading to the fridge to grab another Otter Pop, I saw someone else who was scared of some sort of office supply, I believe it was paper clips.
I learned two things that day. One, that Otter Pops are best opened using a pair of scissors and two, people can be scared of almost anything. Not so long ago, while eating Ben and Jerry's (an obvious sign of my upward social mobility), I learned that there are also extremists when it comes to almost anything.
What constitutes an extremist? Does an extremist have a beard? Perhaps he wears glasses while reading Jane Austin? Maybe he is a she or she is a he or one in the same. What does an extremist eat? Perhaps a halibut burger. No, let's assume that the extremist is vegetarian, no, that's too "genocidal" so how about vegan. Once again, there is a dilemma. Although a vegan diet is honorable, the product was brought to the SUB in a truck that probably used fossil fuels which polluted the environment.
The most humane dietary practice among extremist and the environmentally conscious must be a Freegan diet, or if you like meat and are cognizant of the genocidal ramifications of sirloin steak but hate pollution, a Meagan diet. By 2012, I predict that dumpster diving will eclipse skateboarding and rock climbing in popularity as well as in nutritional value.
No matter what idea exists, there are some that take it a bit too far. Now, when most people think about extremist, who do they think about? Goebbels and his minions have done a marvelous job in teaching us about extremism through an imperialist prism so we think of a Muslim, most likely an Arab.
This "Extremist Arab" most certainly hates the West, but not for the fact that we glamorize anorexia nor because we have a higher murder/suicide rate than any non-occupied Muslim country in the world. The idea this extremist hates most is the institution of democracy. It's a simple matter of jealousy. I don't blame him for his jealousy though. Come on, greatest country ever. In no other country are the people's voices as important as they are in the land of the hamburger. Name one other democracy where the majority of people oppose a war and instead get an escalation, an imminent third war on the horizon and a possible fourth war after that. Extremists hate our generosity.
I learned two things that day. One, that Otter Pops are best opened using a pair of scissors and two, people can be scared of almost anything. Not so long ago, while eating Ben and Jerry's (an obvious sign of my upward social mobility), I learned that there are also extremists when it comes to almost anything.
What constitutes an extremist? Does an extremist have a beard? Perhaps he wears glasses while reading Jane Austin? Maybe he is a she or she is a he or one in the same. What does an extremist eat? Perhaps a halibut burger. No, let's assume that the extremist is vegetarian, no, that's too "genocidal" so how about vegan. Once again, there is a dilemma. Although a vegan diet is honorable, the product was brought to the SUB in a truck that probably used fossil fuels which polluted the environment.
The most humane dietary practice among extremist and the environmentally conscious must be a Freegan diet, or if you like meat and are cognizant of the genocidal ramifications of sirloin steak but hate pollution, a Meagan diet. By 2012, I predict that dumpster diving will eclipse skateboarding and rock climbing in popularity as well as in nutritional value.
No matter what idea exists, there are some that take it a bit too far. Now, when most people think about extremist, who do they think about? Goebbels and his minions have done a marvelous job in teaching us about extremism through an imperialist prism so we think of a Muslim, most likely an Arab.
This "Extremist Arab" most certainly hates the West, but not for the fact that we glamorize anorexia nor because we have a higher murder/suicide rate than any non-occupied Muslim country in the world. The idea this extremist hates most is the institution of democracy. It's a simple matter of jealousy. I don't blame him for his jealousy though. Come on, greatest country ever. In no other country are the people's voices as important as they are in the land of the hamburger. Name one other democracy where the majority of people oppose a war and instead get an escalation, an imminent third war on the horizon and a possible fourth war after that. Extremists hate our generosity.
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