2008 Woodie Awards
Off the Bench
Foster slams 'em home
Tony Schwartz
Issue date: 2/9/07 Section: Sports
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What up everybody? I'm back for another semester of offbeat, satirical articles guaranteed to offend somebody. To start this semester off, I shot some jumpers with UPS forward Jason Foster.
TS: How does Coach Justin Lunt differ from former Coach Eric Bridgeland?
JF: He has a unique style, but as you can see, it's still the same system.
TS: So, if you had to play for Bridge or Lunt, who do you choose?
JF: You serious? You want me to answer that?
TS: You got to. You can't please everyone. I know from experience.
JF: Both are great coaches, but you got to love who you play for.
TS: You just didn't want to have extra conditioning, that's all.
TS: So, I heard dunking was pretty easy. How come you make it look so difficult?
JF: Well, in the case of that PLU game, I was coming off an ankle injury, and the braids gave me some different aerodynamics.
TS: That's a hell of an excuse.
JF: Alright, s--t happens.
TS: Anyone ever tell you that with your dreads you look like Sean Paul?
JF: Everyday.
TS: So let's get you on stage at halftime and perform a Sean Paul set. I'll drop your beats on my turntables - which songs would you sing?
JF: I'd definitely sing "Give It Up To Me" and "Temperature."
TS: Word is the team plays a lot of video games over winter break together. Who's the best?
JF: I have a lot of pride in my abilities, but Rob Krauel holds it down in Madden.
TS: I noticed some of you guys touch the axe on the floor during player introductions - what is the deal behind that?
JF: It's just tradition. It gets us going; we have a lot of pride in being Loggers.
TS: The women's basketball team is doing an amazing job. In an exhibition game, is it possible they could take the men's team?
JF: The girls are great, they would take us! Riced! You know who I am talking to!
TS: Are sick of Jim Jones' song, "We Fly High" yet? (If you don't know the title, it's the one where they go, "BALLIN'!")
TS: How does Coach Justin Lunt differ from former Coach Eric Bridgeland?
JF: He has a unique style, but as you can see, it's still the same system.
TS: So, if you had to play for Bridge or Lunt, who do you choose?
JF: You serious? You want me to answer that?
TS: You got to. You can't please everyone. I know from experience.
JF: Both are great coaches, but you got to love who you play for.
TS: You just didn't want to have extra conditioning, that's all.
TS: So, I heard dunking was pretty easy. How come you make it look so difficult?
JF: Well, in the case of that PLU game, I was coming off an ankle injury, and the braids gave me some different aerodynamics.
TS: That's a hell of an excuse.
JF: Alright, s--t happens.
TS: Anyone ever tell you that with your dreads you look like Sean Paul?
JF: Everyday.
TS: So let's get you on stage at halftime and perform a Sean Paul set. I'll drop your beats on my turntables - which songs would you sing?
JF: I'd definitely sing "Give It Up To Me" and "Temperature."
TS: Word is the team plays a lot of video games over winter break together. Who's the best?
JF: I have a lot of pride in my abilities, but Rob Krauel holds it down in Madden.
TS: I noticed some of you guys touch the axe on the floor during player introductions - what is the deal behind that?
JF: It's just tradition. It gets us going; we have a lot of pride in being Loggers.
TS: The women's basketball team is doing an amazing job. In an exhibition game, is it possible they could take the men's team?
JF: The girls are great, they would take us! Riced! You know who I am talking to!
TS: Are sick of Jim Jones' song, "We Fly High" yet? (If you don't know the title, it's the one where they go, "BALLIN'!")
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