2008 Woodie Awards
Horoscopes
Colie Liuzzi
Issue date: 3/9/07 Section: Combat Zone
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Aries (3/21 - 4/19)
Savvy?
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20)
We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/21)
I think we're beyond euphemisms at this point: God's a Skee-Ball fanatic.
Cancer (6/22 - 7/22)
Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
Leo (7/23 - 8/22)
Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler ...
Virgo (8/23 - 9/22)
What's with today, today?
Libra (9/23 - 10/22)
I am Jack's wasted life.
Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21)
You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy.
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21)
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19)
Take the red pill.
Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18)
Have you ever given a foot massage?
Pisces (2/19 - 3/20)
I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.
Savvy?
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20)
We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/21)
I think we're beyond euphemisms at this point: God's a Skee-Ball fanatic.
Cancer (6/22 - 7/22)
Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
Leo (7/23 - 8/22)
Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler ...
Virgo (8/23 - 9/22)
What's with today, today?
Libra (9/23 - 10/22)
I am Jack's wasted life.
Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21)
You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy.
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21)
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19)
Take the red pill.
Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18)
Have you ever given a foot massage?
Pisces (2/19 - 3/20)
I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.
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