2008 Woodie Awards
Letter to the Editor
RE: Lights out with Liz
CHWS Staff
Issue date: 3/23/07 Section: Opinion
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Dear Editor,
This letter is in response to the two recent columns in The Trail regarding oral sex techniques. While we, the staff at Counseling, Health and Wellness Services, wholeheartedly support freedom of speech and freedom of the press, we found the articles disturbing on several levels. We feel they reinforce the worst of the male-female stereotypes, perpetuate inequality between men and women, ignore the potential risks of sexually transmitted diseases, and reveal a less than ideal level of social responsibility on the author's part.
We found the articles demeaning to both men and women. They reinforce one of the most egregious of stereotypes: that women should do whatever it takes to "please their men," with complete disregard for whether the women like it or not. Allow us to quote the author from her first article: "The fact that you are willing and excited to give a blow job can be a huge turn-on for your guy. Do not act like going down is a chore or an obligation (even if, to you, it is.)" Ms. Lumiere has managed to slam us back to Relationship Stone Age in just a couple of sentences. What happened to the notion that relationships could be built on mutual respect, that anything less than honesty should be unacceptable to both partners? We find the author's suggestion that it is okay to "feign enjoyment" (second article) appalling and, quite honestly, a betrayal of women and all that they have fought for during the last several decades.
Encouraging women OR men to pretend they are enjoying any aspect of sex simply validates the concept that basing your relationship on a lie is acceptable. Having sex does not automatically equate to sexual freedom. How about tackling the more appropriate, and frankly, far more interesting subject of where a relationship should be BEFORE the two of you decide to become intimate? Perhaps encouraging your fellow students (men and women) to reach the level of maturity and honesty that would allow them to speak freely about sexual desires BEFORE they start worrying about "perfecting their techniques" would be in order.
This letter is in response to the two recent columns in The Trail regarding oral sex techniques. While we, the staff at Counseling, Health and Wellness Services, wholeheartedly support freedom of speech and freedom of the press, we found the articles disturbing on several levels. We feel they reinforce the worst of the male-female stereotypes, perpetuate inequality between men and women, ignore the potential risks of sexually transmitted diseases, and reveal a less than ideal level of social responsibility on the author's part.
We found the articles demeaning to both men and women. They reinforce one of the most egregious of stereotypes: that women should do whatever it takes to "please their men," with complete disregard for whether the women like it or not. Allow us to quote the author from her first article: "The fact that you are willing and excited to give a blow job can be a huge turn-on for your guy. Do not act like going down is a chore or an obligation (even if, to you, it is.)" Ms. Lumiere has managed to slam us back to Relationship Stone Age in just a couple of sentences. What happened to the notion that relationships could be built on mutual respect, that anything less than honesty should be unacceptable to both partners? We find the author's suggestion that it is okay to "feign enjoyment" (second article) appalling and, quite honestly, a betrayal of women and all that they have fought for during the last several decades.
Encouraging women OR men to pretend they are enjoying any aspect of sex simply validates the concept that basing your relationship on a lie is acceptable. Having sex does not automatically equate to sexual freedom. How about tackling the more appropriate, and frankly, far more interesting subject of where a relationship should be BEFORE the two of you decide to become intimate? Perhaps encouraging your fellow students (men and women) to reach the level of maturity and honesty that would allow them to speak freely about sexual desires BEFORE they start worrying about "perfecting their techniques" would be in order.
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